Never Argue With A Woman

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides
to take a nap.. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to
take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her
book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and
says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?') -- 'You're
in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm
not fishing. I'm reading'…

’Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any
moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'For reading a book,' she replies,

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again, 'I'm sorry,
officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'.

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any
moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual assault,' says the
woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden. 'That's true, but
you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

The weight-loss plan

1. No diet for me. I will eat only foods I really enjoy, and I will enjoy them. Instead of ruling out certain foods, I will control my portion sizes and forgo second servings. Other new habits: No eating after dinner. No eating out of bags or boxes. I'll be talking with Brian Wansink, author of "Mindless Eating" (Bantam Books, 2006), about how I can be on what he calls the best kind of diet: "the one you don't know you're on."

2. I intend to continue good eating habits I've already established. I drink lots of water (and plain, black tea and coffee). I don't use added sugar (except a bit to sweeten oatmeal) or salt, and I never use artificial sweeteners. I eat lots of fruit, vegetables, whole grains, beans, yogurt and nuts. I seldom eat much meat, and rarely at a meal other than dinner. And I don't indulge much in sweets.

3. I refuse to count calories (or points, or whatever). I've tried that, and it seems just to reinforce my obsession with food. All that counting and tallying works for others, I know, but it makes me spend even more time thinking about food than usual.

4. I will keep a food journal. I'm not sure how this will play out, but some experts insist that recording everything you eat, and the circumstances under which you eat it, keeps you honest and identifies areas for improvement. I'm afraid this, too, might lead to obsession. Either that, or I'll just forget to write stuff down.

5. I'm going to take it really slow. Let my body adjust gradually to each incremental weight loss. A few years ago I lost 10 pounds fast and regained it almost as quickly. This time I want to make the weight loss stick. So I'll be content to lose a pound every couple of weeks.

6. I'm planning a series of small rewards for my progress. When I reach 140 pounds, for instance, I think I'll get a facial. And when I get to 135, I'm ditching all my old yoga clothes and getting brand-new ones!

via

Advantages of Asprin – more than human health care

Asprin tablets are commonly used to ward off head ache, heart attacks. However, here are a variety of tips you can follow to use Asprin and appreciate its capabilities –

Fresh Flowers for days – 1 asprin tablet can be put in flower vase’s water to keep your flowers fresh for days

Tiny pin holes on the wall – Asprin can we mashed along with water to fill the tiny holes

White Shirt with Stains – Asprin acts as a bleach to remove cloth stains – remember, always use Asprin + Water only for white clothes

Bee bites – Asprin paste with water can be used for bee stings

These are proven multi uses of one tablet known as Asprin! Try out and know the benefits.

Bathroom Manners: very important

During a good manners and etiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says to her students:

“If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?”

Mike replies: “Wait a minute, I’m going for a piss.”

The teacher says: “That would be very rude and improper on your part.”

Charlie replies: “I’m sorry I need to go to the toilet, I’ll be back in a minute.”

The teacher says: “That’s much better but to mention the word “toilet” during a meal, is unpleasant.”

And Little Johnny says: “My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner.”